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Craft effective emails without sounding like a corporate robot

Dear Investomer,

We're just reaching out to touch base so that we can cover all grounds of corporate jargon.

We should really drill down the basics of corporate jargon to steer clear of, so we can begin going forward with blue-sky thinking.

Let's all get our ducks in a row then circle back to the solid solution. Consider this your anti-jargon guide, a one-stop shop for crafting better emails.

...in English?

Did you manage to get to the end of that faux-corporate email without cringing? If you're not sure what any of that meant, you're not the only one.

Let's translate.

We're exploring the weird and vague dictionary that is corporate jargon. We've handpicked some major cringe-worthy phrases to avoid, so we can stop sounding like corporate robots and start sounding like human beings.

Swapping these robotic phrases for human language will allow you to better prepare yourself for effective email marketing, and help generate better content that your customers will actually read.

Let's take this offline

No, seriously. Using corporate jargon is an easy habit to fall into, especially when everyone else is using it. It's a strange grey area of language that we understand, but it's just unnecessary.

Jargon is everywhere. Particularly in the world of B2B marketing; corporate jargon lurks in all corners of email marketing, web copy, conversation, and social content.

It's more or less its own language in itself. It's a collection of metaphors and abstract phrases that just confuse.

Getting rid of some of the cringy vocab helps to generate content that actually hits. It speaks the same language as your customers to make them feel like they're genuinely seen rather than being spoken to by a machine.

What's wrong with corporate jargon?

Jargon is confusing. It's vague, and it tiptoes around what you're trying to say.

It's not inclusive. Not everyone knows what it means. Although it's designed to be colloquial and friendly, it's a linguistic indicator of corporate culture that can come off as daunting to smaller businesses.

Plus, it's certainly not neurodivergent-friendly. If you're marketing to someone who interprets text very literally, then your point will be completely lost in translation. People simply won't read your content if it's too vague.

Your customers have busy lives, and they're not going to waste time deciphering a jargon-loaded email.

We all love to hate it. Please see the jargon hall of shame attached:

  • Touch base - In American sports, maybe
  • Reach out - Is this an email or a Mariah Carey song?
  • Going forward - As opposed to backward?
  • As per my last email - We all know this is code for 'didn't you read my last email?'
  • Investomer - Just, no
  • Circle back - Like a dog chasing its tail?
  • FYI - Are we in High School Musical?
  • Blue sky thinking - I'd rather be in the Bahamas too
  • Let's take this offline - Please do
  • Unpack - What, a suitcase?
  • Drill down - Unless you're in the oil industry, this one just doesn't cut it
  • Anti-marketing - If you're not marketing in a marketing email, then what are you doing?
  • Get your ducks in a row - What happens at the fairground stays at the fairground
  • Above and beyond - Buzz Lightyear, is that you?
  • We go the extra mile! - Don't all businesses?

So, how can we change the narrative?

Bin the jargon dictionary and curate fresh, captivating content that your customers will actually read. This stops wasting time and helps you cut to the chase.

When writing your marketing emails:

  • Get off to a good start
  • Clarity is key
  • Ask double-ended questions
  • Be yourself

Start off right

If you're using personalised marketing emails to speak to your customer, try and get off to a friendly start. No one likes an impersonal 'Dear [Name]'.

A simple 'Hi [Name]' will do. It's short, concise, and informal. Keep the greeting personal and warm, and you'll set the tone of the whole email.

Clarity is key

You've got under 10 seconds to grasp your reader's attention, so use your time wisely. This means using bold and clear language.

Stay away from vague corporate language and start sounding like a human being. Content doesn't have to be injected with flowery language - just simple, well-selected wording.

Instead of 'touch base', try saying 'contact.' Instead of 'let's take this offline', you can just as easily say 'let's discuss/chat about it later.'

Ask open-ended questions

Get rid of avoidable 'yes' or 'no' responses and try swapping them for questions that tempt an actual answer. This helps promote a more genuine exchange of communication and gets your customer involved in the communication too.

Be yourself

Let your personality shine through your words. Allow the language to reflect your business's uniqueness so that your content sticks out from the rest.

Using this tone of voice consistently will help build your brand familiarity and more importantly - you'll sound like a human being.

It's 2023, and the era of corporate jargon is ripe for destruction.

Anyway, with all that in mind - it's over to you. Can you action this?

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